By nature I am a curious person. I think it is a child like attribute that I’ve always had. Being curious always leads me to question things, not to disprove, but to learn. Curiosity could be a bad thing when you get curious about things you shouldn’t be looking into. However, when used right it is a great gift of God. It is what lead me to re-evaluate my faith and what I pursue.
My testimony begins about a year ago when I was talking with someone at church who had lost everything: job, wife, child, and so on. As he spoke I sat there watching him holding his Bible to his chest and listened to him speak about Jesus with pure delight and great peace. He wasn’t hurt or bitter or angry, he was satisfied with Jesus. He explained that once he found Jesus, his wife actually called him after two years of silence. As I was talking with him, I began to wonder “What have I been pursing? This guy is blessed because he pursued after Jesus and only Jesus. I wonder what would happen if I sought to love the Lord as much as this guy does? How could I put my passions & distractions aside and make God my main attraction?”
I saw results in this guy’s life that I wasn’t seeing in my own. I love Jesus too, so what was different? I decided to humble myself like a child; be willing to be corrected and willing to learn. I asked myself questions, “What if I have been seeking other things like prophecy & power & destiny? What if I have forgotten my first love? How do I repent and return to God?”
Although I read the scripture and prayed often, I some how let my first love slip through my fingers. I knew that the first thing I had to do was humble myself and go back to first principals and read the scriptures like it was the first time. This would give me a fresh look, and make me like a new wine skin. The second thing I had to do was pray for repentance and asked God give me heart to love Him and to seek Him for Him. I began to not care about the other things I was pursuing as much as I wanted to pursue Him.
During the time of pursuit, I found myself reunited to my first love, and then in the midst of it I saw tremendous breakthrough in circumstances that would never have changed if not for God stepping in. I received three major promotions in less than a year at work, and all three were given to me without my even asking for them. This all was very necessary, because I really needed a better job desperately. God’s goodness is a constant wonder to me.
I returned to my First Love, not for a blessing, but because in my heart I truly wanted Jesus. He was all I wanted. And I got blessed greatly along the way. The Bible says He is good and faithful, we are blessed when we seek Him first. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33).” I am living proof of this scripture. He is worth the humbling, repenting, praying, fasting, and whatever it takes to get to Him. He is worth it!
Michelle Dorris is 30 years old, and lives in Mechanicsburg. She is an active member of Christ Community Church.
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